Updated: Jan 16, 2019
Kind mindfulness is the state of being when you're totally present, kind to yourself and others.
My name is Sidney Fontaine and I'm an authentic self discovery coach for women. One thing I have noticed across the years is that for overcoming the most engrained self-limiting beliefs or challenges women are facing, a simple action-led plan is not enough. Indeed, these beliefs are formed from past experiences and pretty deeply anchored in their mind.
In order to help them quiet this self-judgement, I started teaching how to be more mindful but not just this... I taught how to be mindful with kindness.
What you practice grows stronger, this is called neuroplasticity.
Mindfulness + Kindness
Mindfulness is the state of being when you are totally present, when your mind does not wonder somewhere else but is in the moment, fully.
Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
Kind mindfulness is therefore the state of being when you're totally present, kind to yourself and others.
Why this addition to the well respected mindfulness will you ask?
Because the honest truth is that mindfulness alone will not help you tackling the most paralysing beliefs you have about yourself.
Those beliefs in psychology and coaching are called "self-limiting" beliefs and these are born from self-judgement and feeling of shame. And those two elements are preventing you from transforming.
The science behind it is that when we feel these, the brain literally shuts down. MRI scanner images of brains feeling shame have all shown the same thing, which is that areas associated with growth and learning are greyed out and no activity is happening in them. These feelings trigger hormones that prevent the so called change from happening. They rob the brain from the energy it would normally need to create the change.
Do you know what is even worse ? When we feel shame, we naturally want to avoid feeling it and hide from those parts of ourselves we'd rather not be looking at... these are the parts that require most of our attention.
But hurray! This is not irreversible. Do you know what re-activates all those beautiful areas in your brain and stimulates growth and learning?
Indeed, kindness creates new neural pathways that allow you to erase these self-limiting beliefs. Making them, over time, melt like ice in the sun.
Transformation is possible for all, but it requires our uninterrupted kind attention (or kind mindfulness). What your practice, grows stronger - always.
To finish, I will share with you a couple of tips to start on this kind mindfulness journey towards yourself:
1. Start by saying "Good Morning, I love you <Your name>" to yourself with your hand on heart every morning, preferably out loud. You might feel a bit self-conscious at first but trust me, over time you will feel the benefits. Kindness towards yourself will lead the way to a newly found self-love (the enemy of shame!).
2. Write, at the end of everyday in a notebook, the things (people, events, feel-good moments) that happened to you and made you happy. This has once been advised to me by one of my Psychology teacher at University. He gave it to us as an assignment for the year and that was it. No word of a lie, this was the most powerful tool anyone could have given me. By applying this daily, I started seeing people, situations in a more loving way and became grateful for all that life gives me everyday.
Enjoy this wonderful journey.